God is my confidence
I wrote the below on Sunday night after arriving in Chattanooga. It is now Wednesday and I leave in the morning to fly back to Easton. I decided to share the below so I could testify that God has been so faithful to me this week. I've met some wonderful people, learned many new things and need to learn much more! But, God has given me strength, energy, a listening ear and His ear! I am now filled with excitement at the things He is putting on my heart to do for Him via Precept Ministries. Be encouraged!
January 4, 2007
It seems like just yesterday that Tom drove from Chattanooga to Easton for the holidays. But, it couldn’t have been yesterday because that’s when we left Easton to drive to Chattanooga! We got as far as Bristol, VA last night and then finished up the drive today arriving in Chattanooga early afternoon.
I have my first meetings at Precept Ministries starting tomorrow morning on continuing on through Wednesday. As we were driving today, I began to see signs for Chattanooga. And, the weirdest thing started to happen. I wanted to cry. Then, I grew terrified. I was even filled with dread. My mind started racing and I found myself emotionally reacting to my thoughts. I was startled! I literally felt assaulted and I started praying. “Lord, where did these thoughts come from? Lord, what is this emotion? What is going on here?” I immediately began speaking truth to myself and I would feel stronger until assaulted with another round of thoughts followed by a range of emotions. I arrived in Chattanooga exhausted!
Tom’s temporary home is a cozy apartment that is attached to the dorms. We unpacked and walked over to his office so I could see it and so he could drop off some things. His office is in a building I have entered many times. Only this time it was VERY different. Always before, I was entering to attend a conference. As we got closer to the building, the memories were like a slide show in my mind and at the end of the show, one word stuck in my mind: Life changing. Here, I have experienced dramatic life change. This time, I’m not entering the doors to attend a conference, but to work and serve. Again, I found myself on the verge of tears. But this time, I understood my thoughts and emotions.
The next thing I knew, I was teetering on the verge of despair or maybe it was discouragement. But, why? Where did that come from? Everything in me wanted to curl up in a ball and go to bed for at least a long nap. But, wait a minute…everything in me wanted to jump for joy, shout to the mountain tops, slow the experience down so I could savor it. So which is the real me? Both! I think my flesh wants to rob my spirit. A work in progress….
"For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth. By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You." Psalm 71:5-6
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8