Decorum

Have you ever noticed how some elderly people lose their filter? They speak loudly, say exactly what they think, and no longer seem concerned about what others think. We probably all know someone like this — or maybe it’s us.

I’m not picking on anyone. I’m simply using it as an example of something that no longer seems reserved for the elderly.

Somewhere along the way, many of us have taken the concept of free speech to mean we can say whatever we want, to anyone we want, without regard for whether it offends, demeans, or demoralizes. For added impact? We sometimes sprinkle in foul language. #nofilter

Sweet friends, this is not how a polite society acts.

Many of us have watched decorum fade — and if we’re honest, at times we’ve contributed to it.

We call it our right.
We justify it as standing up.
We label it peaceful protest or “letting our voices be heard.”

But our unfiltered speech is having a deeply negative impact on our culture.

We can blame our leaders and say our behavior is a response to theirs. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Surely we haven’t discarded that principle too.

If we want a better society, we must be better.

It isn’t okay to rant, rail, curse, and abandon decency/decorum. So what is decorum?

Simply put, it’s proper behavior — conduct that reflects good taste, respect, and awareness of others. It’s saying please, thank you, and excuse me. It’s kindness. It’s restraint. It’s treating others with dignity — even those we disagree with.

And it’s not reserved for people we like.

Instead of calling out everyone else’s behavior while excusing our own, let’s examine ourselves. Instead of labeling and unfriending, let’s look for common ground. Political differences do not have to divide us — that responsibility rests with each of us.

If you feel strongly, don’t rant online. Call or write your local and federal leaders. If you’re tempted to go off in conversation — pause. Call or write instead.

Let your voice be heard.

But measure your words.

Be respectful. Don’t just complain — offer solutions. Share what you hope to see. And don’t forget to acknowledge what may be going right.

And above all, pray for them. All of them.

If we aren’t contacting our leaders, if we aren’t praying for them, and yet we continue in unfiltered behavior — then perhaps many of us are part of the problem.

Let’s decide what kind of society we want — and live accordingly.

Examine ourselves.
Set the standard.
Resurrect decorum.